Friday, March 19, 2004


From the land of my birth...

I'm in Tacoma, Washington this week, "being there" for my Dad on the first anniversary of my Mother's death.

A full report is on the way, but in the meantime I thought I'd share with you a few universal truths that have been revealed to me, in what is turning out to be the home of some of the great thinkers of our time:

--Never eat at a buffet, and never eat Chinese food. And never, NEVER eat at a Chinese buffet, as "a guy down south" found out when he discovered a cat's tooth in his food. Courtesy of my sister's husband.

--If you're black, or a woman, in america, doors of opportunity will automatically open for you, and the good life will be handed to you on a silver platter. If you're a black woman, cha-CHING! courtesy of my brother.

--Don't shop at Target; they support the queers, and they're owned by the French. My Dad.

--Everyone's trying to sing like a nigger. Ibid.

I want, in no particular order, an M4 assault rifle with hollowpoint bullets, extremely deviant sex, a pack of cigarettes, and enough heroin to make me forget that I'm from here.
Copyright 2004 Rich Bowen

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