Tuesday, June 06, 2006

*sigh* So those of you who've known me for a while may remember that--believe it or not--I am in fact married. I remain so, despite the best efforts of the US Government, who keep reaching into their ass and pulling out new hoops for us to jump through.

I'll try to walk you through the process so far. We began the whole kerfuffle back in January when I moved back to Seattle. There was one form which we'll call Form A, which was simply to register her with Homeland Security ("Impotently Threatening the Law-Abiding Since 2001!") as my spouse. Form A, I was told, would take up to two years to process, but as soon as it was received, I would be able to send in Form B, which would register her as, um, my spouse.

Still with me? To recap: Send in Form A, get it received and in process, then send in Form B. Once Form B is processed (in about two months, they said), then Shelly can go to the US Consulate in Vancouver and fill out Form C, and receive a K-3 Visa, which will allow her into the US.

So, Form A got received, so I went ahead and sent in Form B. A couple of months later, I get a notice of approval for...Form A? The one that's supposed to take two years? Well, okay. A week later comes the approval for Form B. Now we're talking. Now it's time for them to send Shelly Form C, so she can go get the K-3.

Well, she got Form C. Trouble is, Form C includes Supplemental Forms D, E, and F, mostly information that I already sent in with Forms A and B. In addition she needs a Canadian passport to proceed, which means going to the Canadian government and filling out Le Forme...what's French for G?

Oh, and as you probably figured, each form included copious fees, the amount of which varies depending on which version of the form you look at. I particularly enjoyed when I was making a final inspection of Form B and discovered it had been updated while I was getting ready to send it in, with the requisite fee increase. Oh, and since I was listed in Form E as her US Agent, that meant a surprise bonus fee!

So at this point, Le Forme Grande is turned in and we're just waiting on her passport, so she can turn in Forms D, E and F and get her Visa. It would seem to be going well, except that based on the information we were originally given by Homeland Security ("Defeating Terrorism By Halfassedly Enforcing Non-Existent Anti-Porn Laws!"), we thought she would be here by the end of April. So that's when she gave her notice at work. Meaning that for over a month now she's been unemployed and living in her parents house (we gave up the apartment back in march), and doing more than her fair share of Oma duty.

So be sure to drop by The Enchanted Forest Full Of Chinese People and show some love. And if any of y'all feel like spending, say, a weekend in the land of the still-favorable exchange rate, I know it would be appreciated.

Copyright 2004 Rich Bowen

I went there, and boy did I have FUN!!!!
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